Well that was as routine as it gets. Not because Bournemouth are crap, we just made them look crap.
To be fair they’ve nothing to play for really, it looked like they were practicing how to defend as a unit for next season. Didn’t go very well did it?
Loris Karius 7
Fuck off, did he play?
Didn’t have much to do, come out for a couple of punches but in truth he didn’t have a save to make. Another clean sheet. I’m fine with that.
Trent Alexander Arnold 9 – MOTM
Target? Weak-link? Try again. This lad is the best thing since sliced bread. I thought he may have been rested after pocketing Sané again but the local lad was bang up for this one. A solid performance and a sublime assist for King Mo.
Virgil van Dijk 8
Dominated the back line like the Berty big bollocks he is. Donald Trump might be building a wall but we have our very own in Big Virg.
Dejan Lovren 7
‘Like a new signing’ gets banded round a lot these days but Lovren really has improved. Virgil van Dijk has turned him into a fucking defender, a no nonsense, calm, composed and consistent defender.
Also him and Mo are BFF’s so remember that in the summer.
Andrew Robertson 7
I was wary of Fraser on the right wing before the game started as he has caused us so many problems before. Then I remembered we have this Moose, loose, aboot this hoose in the team. Hardly remember seeing Fraser.
Robertson had him on toast every time.
Gini Wijnaldum 8
Bullied the Midfield, I’ve said it once and I will say it again…his ability to win possession by shoving people off the ball with his arse is relentless.
Our very own brick shit house.
Jordan Henderson 8
Could have found my real dad with his passing today. Dictates play with his speed and range of passing.
Also by going fucking mental at the ref.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain – 8
Looks like he’s been warming up for a celebrity appearance in Takeshi’s Castle. He ran and ran like a possessed demon. So much so he fell flat on his arse at full time.
Twice the player he was at Arsenal, always a pleasure to listen to post match.
Sadio Mane – 9
OHHHH MANE MANE DU DUDUDU DU DU!!
Poor season? My arse!! Contender for MOTM, could have had a hat trick. Took his goal well and always offered a run in behind the defence.
Got bored in the first half and decided step overs and piss taking was the way forward. He was right.
Roberto Firmino – 8
Fuck me, what was he doing for that 1 on 1???
Doesn’t matter really, he knew another chance was coming. He scores when he wants.
Mo Salah – 9
Try and claim that one Harry Kane you dick.
Tap ins, curlers, pens and headers. You fucking name it, our Mo can do it. 40 goals this season and he could have had loads more!!
Ballon D’or incoming??
Klavan – 6
Milner – 7
Solanke – 5
Article by @rossic89
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