WOW. How the bloody fuck are you supposed to sum that up?! No Bobby and no Salah and needing a goal to win. Oh yeah Divock Origi you beautiful bastard.
If you don’t agree with these it’s sound. My heads gone.
Alisson – 7
Kept busier than usual, probably made up to see Rondon on the free-kicks tonight. Not really at fault for the goals. Lovren left him up shit creek for the first really.
Trent – 9
Right-back, right-wing, goalkeeper. Standard assist followed by a definite handball. Keep a low profile? Nah fuck that. Have another assist. Let Shaq on set pieces, just cos he knew.
Lovren – 6
Mixed emotions. Rondon bullied him, he was erratic and he’s not Joel. Sloppy, nervous pass for Alisson. Bit happier that we won but I want Matip back in on Tuesday.
Virgil – 7
Looks goosed to me you know. Just a good job he’s the best centre back in the world really. What were Newcastle playing at, give the fucker a break will you. Well besides leaving him free for the goal.
Robbo – 7.5
Quality again for me, standard Robbo performance; full of beans, passion and composure. We were all over the place at times but he was one of the better ones.
Fabinho – 7
All over the place and never shirked a challenge as usual. Newcastle were aggressive and physical tonight and this lanky fucker stood up to it. Besides that well earned free kick that led to the winner.
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Hendo – 7
Fat Mackem bastard – with three points. Sound in the first half and a bit all over the shop in the second, as were the rest of the side.
Gini – 7
Blowing smoke out his arse isn’t he. Played up front on Wednesday, back in midfield today and to make matters worse it was at his old club, poor sod probably doesn’t know his arse from his elbow right now.
Salah – 7
Lovely finish for the goal. And on a serious note, I genuinely hope he’s ok, not sure if it was his head or neck he hurt but it didn’t look great.
Sturridge – 5
One or two nice balls in the first, but the fight isn’t there, the pace isn’t there and he looks scared to make a challenge. The only thing he has left in his locker is his finishing and he made a mess of that.
Mane – 7
Not at his best but still releltless and that counts for something, never forgets about his defensive duties too.
Shaqiri – 8
Just for the assist.
Milly – 7
Bit of composure near the end. Needed.
Big Div – 10
Shouldn’t be a ten but I don’t give a fuck. He’s done it again.
Let me know what you think in the comments below. Please be aware that these are just opinion, so don’t take them personally!